Work

Serious business. Obviously.

Distractions

It’s funny how things sneak up you. For instance, for the past week I’ve been noticing a strange thing about the cucumbers, and have found more than a few tiny cukes withering on the vine, pale yellow and sickly when they had been a vibrant green when they had appeared as the first non-pea, non-bean items in the garden. The peas and beans don’t seem to care about anything that’s going on, pumping out fruits as fast as we can pick them.

The cukes, on the other hand, after a slowish start, have begun to take over, climbing up the trellises, into the cabbages and the microsprinklers, attempting to strangle both, reaching over a three foot gap to attach to yet another cucumber, and then both heading over another three foot gap to the garden fence itself.

Still, I fretted over the baby cukes. The people who come in and out of this house like fresh cukes plain, in a sour cream and dill sauce, as pickles, in salads, and so on. It simply would not do to have a bunch of wimpy cucumber plants refusing to yield to the mammals at the top of the food chain. Today, while feeding the corn some tasy (stinky) high nitrogen, all natural food, I worked my way over toward the cukes and started pulling up more grass (thanks, neighbor, for having your yard guy heavily overseed on some of the windiest days ever!). And discovered what I’d missed while looking a bit too closely at the tiny, failing cukes instead of looking at the larger picture and writing off those tiny failures as test balloons, of a sort.

Over four pounds of cucumbers this  morning. Note to self: stay on top of the hunt for these things so the gigantic, behemoth cukes are picked before they are gigantic, behemoth cukes.

Dirt envy

The city, like many other cities, is in a perpetual state of construction somewhere. Whether it’s some kind of what appears to be a drainage project visible off the highway, the newest commercial property built to hold who knows what merchants, or the newest elementary and high schools being built right on top of one another, one thing is constant:  large, beautiful piles of deep, dark, rich topsoil on the job site. If you’ve never had to deal with dead, sterile, no-good-bug, clay soil on top of hardpan, then you’ve probably never felt that pang of envy that this primo dirt is being pushed around in a place where most people will not appreciate it for what it really is at its heart: a great base for growing things other than concrete structures.

But if you’re like me, stuck with clay down a foot, followed by hardpan, with little in the way of beneficial insects, pocket gophers that seem as impervious to tunneling through that clay as the clay is impervious to allowing anything to grow, you daydream when you see those lovely piles of dirt sitting there, and think about how it would be to just back up a truck and haul some away during the dead of night. Instead, you have a few loads brought in by dump truck, have the tractor guy spread it around, and then bring in some poo. And spread that around. By hand. Because the ranch has no tractor of its own. Yet.

Luckily, exercise builds character. Or so I’ve been told.

Behold my field of poo. Cow poo, to be precise, lovingly spread by hand (in, I might add, a very nice and even geometric dispersion) while I was cursing the homebuilders for scraping off every inch of viable topsoil and selling it off when they began this job. This was followed by a truck of horse poo, kindly provided by someone with whom we have a sort of symbiotic relationship: she has horses that quite naturally provide poo, and we are willing to haul it away from her place so she does not have to figure out what the hell to do with the amount of poo that large creatures like horses create.

Why this work? Erosion, for one. Keeping what little sand and dirt that is on top of the clay in place is important, as the wind is very rarely not blowing across the property. Saving the soil will keep it where it belongs – on the ground, not blowing off into someone else’s place or into the house. Another reason is that I’d really like to have the kind of ground that is workable enough to plant crops directly in the ground, rather than having to build acres and acres of frames. Plus, it’s simply the ecological thing to do: good soil means good habitat means good critters and insects means a healthier environment in my little corner of the planet.

This first poo field is just about 50 feet by 50 feet. The far right hand corner is actually a compost pile that we’d solarized with black plastic during the colder months and uncovered a couple of months ago. I had thought I’d turn it a couple of times, then dump it into the field to be tilled in with the poo (yes, I’m tilling, and there’s a reason for that) but we discovered volunteer potatoes, tomatoes, and possibly a squash or two growing up out of what is no doubt some very nice compost. So it stays, for now.

I’ve seen blanket statements here and there about how tilling is bad, should never be used, and how anyone who tills up a field or area is just a plain Bad Person. Like most generalizations, this one simply does not cover every situation. The soil, such as it is, is like cement – fitting, if you recall that the early peoples made brick from this and other types of clay, either with or with other binding agents (like straw, for instance). Imagine touching an adobe building and feeling the strength of the sun dried brick, and you’ll have the general idea about the hardness of what’s been left in place here. Even tilling is an ordeal, and has to be done multiple times in the same area, in order to get further down than a quarter inch. On top of all this, I threw down some soil building mix (soybean, oats, clover, alfalfa) to grow and then till right back in. Green manure to add to the brown poo.

The poo field has since been fenced (deer, dogs, cats, gophers) and the first two rows created as raised rows about ten inches wide. After making those raised rows, though, I thought of something: large farms don’t do this, or if they do, it’s with machinery. So, while I test actually trying to grow anything in the field, I figure another test is probably in order. Those two raised rows will be the only ones in the field. Everything else will be grown at level. We’ll see how it all works out.

Oh, snap

I’m not talking about that “you got pwned” sort of snap, but one of a chillier variety: a freak freeze in early April. There we were, minding our own business, starting to take in the peas from the garden…

…getting things transplanted…

…and watching other things sprout and grow from seed.

Even the potatoes were having a fine time of it.

And then, Mother Nature reminds us why she is Mother Nature and we…well, we are not: a freeze warning for us the day after the photos above were taken. Out here in the country, it’s usually several degrees colder than the forecast for the city. Unfortunately, that means covering up everything outside that had already been planted and that would not survive even a light freeze, let alone hours of a hard freeze.

Like all those tomatoes and peppers I had painstakingly babied and then put out.

And the corn. Of course the corn.

Plastic sheets are heavy as hell. Although it did lend a certain wagon train quality to the landscape.

The peas and beans we left uncovered – those sugar snaps are hardy creatures (and besides, The Boy picked seven pounds of pods that day) – and I only lost a few of the bush green bean plants, which are easy to replace. The good news is, everything else sailed right through. The bad news is that I had to remove all the plastic sheeting myself, AFTER my visit to the dentist that morning, since The Boy didn’t emerge from his cave to lend a hand. So, just how cold did it get?

This cold.

I”m not kidding when I say a freak freeze. The days surrounding this freezing night were balmy and in the 70s. Veritable spring-like days, in fact.

Churning away

It’s amazing the tools that are created over time, designed to make peoples’ lives easier. Like this one.

What is it, you ask? Why, a butter churn, of course. Designed for smaller batches than the old upright butter churns people may be used to, this one is small enough to sit on the counter and has wooden paddles in an interlocking fan shape attached to a spindle which in turn is hand cranked.

When we skimmed cream off our milk previously to make butter, we would put it in a quart size canning jar and shake it. This is slow work, and can be painfful if you have smaller hands and the quart jar tests the limits of your grip. With this churn, you simply hold on to a handle in the top fitting and turn the crank. After a bit, the cream gets foamy, like above.

One thing you should not do is overfill the churn and spin too quickly. Well, that’s two things, because the cream expands (as it becomes whipped cream with a lot of air incorporated) and overfilling the churn can result in a bit of overflow, as the streak on the jar shows. Soon enough, though, the cream collapses back onto itself as the fat globules come together and bind with one another and the whey is left to its own devices. It’s quite sudden when it happens, and can be surprising when you’re churning away at what was heavy, whipped cream only to find the handle begin spinning very easily and the jar once again becomes clear.

When that happens, it’s time to pour off the whey from the butter. This churn has a handy spout for that purpose (which also allows air into the jar during the churning process).

It’s only good manners to share a bit of cream with a friend.

Turn the butter out, rinse it a few times, and pack it away.

The best thing about this is that the paddles and the jar are remarkably clean after the churning. A simple wash and you’re ready to go again whenever there’s some cream to be churned.

True love

Nothing says true love like puppy kisses.

And this is Gandalf’s way of showing affection.

Not really.  This was the evening she was helping me go over my garden layout maps.

Mostly her help consists of ensuring the notebook doesn’t suddenly sprint off my desk. And there’s that whole “I’m so cute” thing she has going on.

I’ve taken her request for more catnip under consideration.

Catching up

I know, I have been a tremendous slacker of late, not keeping those near and far up to date on the happenings at the homestead. Three birthdays in the span of three and a half weeks, two of which were major affairs, plus work, plus the onset of spring – well, let’s just say that things have been quite busy here at Lazy Dog Ranch. It’s also tax season here, and we won’t even discuss that at all.

Instead, we’ll go back in time a couple of weeks, to the big birthday bash for my nephew: one year, and he’s changed from an always-screaming, never-smiling, quite silent baby to a happy, talkative baby (who still has quite stinky poo).

Given that this was a rather momentous event, much like my sister’s 30th, of course it had to be a large gathering (this time, comprised mostly of people I myself didn’t know), and of course, there had to be food. We decided on no hot dogs for the party, since we really don’t like feeding hot dogs to other peoples’ kids (has no one seen Field of Dreams?). My sister specifically requested pulled pork, and we also settled on chicken tenders (both with and without barbecue sauce), and hamburgers, to round out the carnivorous side of the menu.

Some things can be made in advance. Like a double batch of sauce.

Other things must be made in advance, since they take about 19 hours to properly cook.

The rest is a matter of prep so the day of the event doesn’t absolutely kill you with all the things that need to be done. That means pulling some carrots fresh out of the ground…

…and cleaning them up to go along with the other vegetables that are prepped for the roasted vegetables to be served along with everything else.

This gathering called for a triple batch of rolls, so the beginnings of that had to be pulled out too.

Don’t forget to vacuum the dog.

Be sure to pull the rolls out of the cold room for their final proof before they go in the oven.

Some homemade hummus – very garlicky, by Mom’s request.

A bit of potato salad and some corn pudding.

The big stuff: pulled pork, chicken tenders (with and without sauce), and burgers:

Virginia Woolf said that everyone needs a room of their own, but sometimes a cake of one’s own will do. Especially if you’re one.

For some reason, I just find this photo incredibly amusing – probably because it looks like he has the candle up his nose.

Marie Antoinette suggested it. Don’t blame me.

Oh, and did I mention the focaccia?

The kid cleaned up in the gift department, of course. We cleaned up the aftermath, and declared the big party season over until Labor Day, at which point we’ll do all this all over again to close out the summer.

Clearing

What the back forty looked like in January (and actually, for almost the past two years):

And now:

We had every intention of leaving the back wild, but last season found that weeds had completely overtaken one berm where wild blackberries were growing (not an easy task), that dog fennel and other weeds were running rampant, making it impossible to get to the wild blackberries anyway, and that we wanted, instead, to put the orchard out in that spot instead. At the very far end, somewhat behind that tree dead center in the photo, is another berm where blackberries are still going strong, and behind that is more wild area that will stay that way. For now. We had our tractor guy come out, mow, and then take down the berms and give us some leveling of the ground back there. Thus far, we have two almonds and a peach tree. Next weekend, we’re heading to the nursery for some citrus trees. Toward the left side of the picture, between the pine trees and the neighbor’s fence, is where I envision the bee hives going at some point.

It’s all very much a work in progress, as it always is. But spring is here – finally – and that means some serious gardening. How serious? Let’s just say that today alone, I popped about 50 plants into the frames out front, in addition to what we’d already put out there. More to come…

Springing up

I know, I know: what have you been up to lately, that you have neglected your poor handful of readers?

Beyond listening to the whining of some asshat who is going to “recommend to his client” that she change to another host – after that client has been with us for seven years, I might add – because we don’t provide the phone support he has decided is necessary, when we can read the ticket, find the account, determine the issue, report it to the actual client for their directions on proceeding, and resolve the immediate issue in the meantime in under 20 minutes while this douche would rather be on hold for that same length of time before getting to a live person….well, I’ve been working, inside and outside. And there was this 30-year birthday bash for my sister, who insists that it was actually her second anniversary of her 29th birthday.

There was food, of course. Like a spinach dip to start people off.

Crabcakes that I threw together, shaped, and put in the freezer that morning to store for the party.

These plus the other two trays were fried off in some olive oil.

By far the best batch I’ve ever made. There were none left, unfortunately, to leave uncooked in the freezer for meals or snacks later. Four pounds of crabmeat in these.

We also had some croissants with crab and artichoke spread. These were set under the broiler with a crumb topping on them and were mighty tasty.

I had smoked a couple of pork butts and roasted a chicken as well. My sister also requested tofu. I marinated it in a ginger-lime sauce.

Then seared that off in some olive oil, too.

What gathering would be complete without rolls?

Nothing like a fresh roll out of the oven.

None of these survived the day, either.

For dessert, mini angel food cakes with a warm berry sauce.

Oh, and let’s not forget the homemade whipped cream.

Not a bad way to spend a day, surrounded by friends and family, even if all the family could not be there.

Faking it

Which of these is Subway’s sweet onion sauce and which is mine?

Hard to tell, right? That’s the point of recreating something you have a taste for in your home.

The three and a half days I spent with my gastro distress a couple of weeks ago also resulted in me not eating much of anything. At the end of that week, we sent The Boy out to get some food, and I had Subway’s sweet onion chicken teriyaki. Unlike the things I had eaten thoughout the week to try to get my system on track and without immediately losing whatever I ate, this stayed down. The next day, The Boy was out again, so I had him swing by and bring me another. That one, however, was not as good – the “sandwich artist” or whatever the hell they are calling themselves these days clearly did not graduate at the top of her class: too much mayo, sauce, and leaky tomatoes resulted in the thing disintegrating in my hand. So, being me, I decided I could make my own, sauce included. And I did. And it was mighty tasty – slightly sweeter than theirs, given the taste issues I have.

For the record: the top is theirs, the bottom is mine.